I used to have this dream of writing a book, actually, i had many dreams and none of which I have ever fulfilled. But somewhere between eleven and twelve, I wanted to write a book. Also, I wanted to write it by the age of twenty but, unfortunately, I just never got around to writing it because I was unsure of what to write about plus anxiety. No, I have never been able to generate ideas automatically which is probably why working in a group kind of sucks for me because I don’t know what to do most of the time. So writing, was kind of like my thing in Primary school when we had to write narrative essays however uni level writing is a whole other ball game because you are required to write a research paper.
Two years ago I got into writing again, I came up with three stories and all of which I am too scared to post. However, I have posted snippets of them on this blog and unfortunately have yet to receive many reviews on them. I am the kind of person who sets high expectations for myself and most of the time never meet those expectations but I still set them anyway because somewhere in my miserable soul I believe I can meet them. So when I don’t get enough reviews I get nervous, is my writing good? is anything I ever do going to be good?The same goes for my art as well.
It’s hard. I do not necessarily consider myself the happiest human being on the planet most of the time because I’m too anxious about everything and anxiety and has always worked against me, but is it really wrong to get some of the recognition or am I being whiny? I don’t know.